Some friendships are only meant to be in your life for a few months or a few years. Some friendships last a lifetime. How can you tell what kind of friendship you have? It’s not easy. You can’t foresee the future. All friendships feel like they are very important when they are occurring. That’s what makes it so difficult to lose one. You feel like you lost an important element of your life and it can be devastating with the wrong mindset. If you are worried about losing a friend, here are some things to affirm to yourself so that no matter what happens, you know that you tried your best and things are working exactly as they are supposed to.
1. I Maintain Quality Friendships
Take a look at your friendship and decide whether or not it is quality for you. Is it supportive, encouraging, and motivating? Does your friend treat you well? Can you be honest with your friend? Or, do you feel like your friendship is holding you back, full of lies, or full of judgment?
Quality friendships have the power to impact your health and overall happiness in a big way. On the other hand, negative friendships can contribute to low self-esteem, depression, and even physical issues.
A woman I know maintained a friendship for 15 years with a woman who sometimes bullied her and sabotaged her other relationships. They had a lot of good times together, but in the long run, her friend was bringing her down and affecting her life and other relationships negatively. It wasn’t until she lost that friend that she was able to realize just how negative it was for her.
Go forward with the idea that you will maintain quality friendships. This will help you see who benefits your life and who hinders it, and when you lose a friend, you will be able to more clearly see why the friendship failed and accept that it wasn’t meant to be.
2. I’m Honest In My Friendships
A good friendship allows honesty. In fact, if you are not able to be honest in your friendship, you may want to reflect on it and how beneficial it is for your life.
If you are worried about losing a friend, sometimes honesty can help smooth things out where you think there might be problems.
Having an honest conversation can help you see things more clearly and help both of you feel more confident in your friendship. In other words, it will tighten your bond and you will be less likely to lose that friend.
3. I Don’t Have Control Over How Other People Feel
You may think your friendship is the best in the world, but your friend may be on a different page. The only thing you can do is talk to them in an honest manner. But, you may not be able to change how they view you or your friendship.
Moreover, a lot of people lose a friend when that friend gets a new boyfriend. While it’s natural for people to spend more time with their new boyfriend, it’s not natural for them to cut important people out of their life. They certainly wouldn’t stop visiting their mother or sister, and if a friendship is important enough, they won’t cut that out either.
If you suddenly take a backburner – and you would never do that to your friend, then you can be pretty sure your friend doesn’t view your friendship in the same way.
If you end up losing this friend, the awareness that they didn’t want to give as much as you did may help you move through any pain you experience quicker. After all, you only have so much time in your life, why not spend it with friends who enjoy you and want to be around you?
4. I Am A Good Friend
We’ve established that you don’t have control over other people, but you do have control over yourself. All you can do is make sure that when you find someone you like, you are a good friend from start to finish – if there is a finish.
What’s a good friend look like?
- They don’t gossip about their friends to anyone
- They keep secrets.
- They don’t hold unrealistic expectations.
- They follow through on their promises.
- They are honest.
- They make their boundaries clear.
- They speak kindly and with compassion.
- They are there during the good and bad times.
Are you a good friend? If not, spend less time worrying about losing your friends and more time worrying about what kind of friend you are. When you do that – and take action on issues that you are having, you will naturally keep friends worthy of having around. They will appreciate you and your relationship, and they won’t feel a need to end the friendship.