This is a really important productivity tip. The people in your life play a huge part in your productivity, so it’s very important to pay attention to your social life and what it’s doing to your thoughts, emotions, and motivation. And it’s not just about the people closest to you. It’s also about the people you interact with online and who you look up to. Everyone in your life can impact your productivity in some way – good or bad.
Some People Will Drag You Down
I know you’ve experienced this. We all have. Family members, friends, co-workers, as well as people we need to see each day, can drag us down and affect our ability to stay positive, focus, and get things done.
I’ve experienced this more than once in my life. For instance, I had one friend who wasn’t aspiring to anything. Every time I would try to accomplish something to move me towards my goals, she would complain about how boring I was and bother me until I finally had to give up what I was doing and pay attention to her. I eventually had to stop being friends with her because she was having such a negative impact on my life and productivity.
Some People Will Lift You Up
There are some people who will make you feel good and give you the desire to achieve greater things. There are also some people who challenge you – in a good way, and help you grow your awareness, skills, and knowledge.
Not everyone has experienced this. For instance, before I met him, my husband was surrounded by a family and friends who mistreated him. The used him, abused him, and made him feel bad about himself. It was hard to do anything good for himself when everyone around him was constantly trying to bring him down.
Use Your Time Wisely
Some people don’t like to hear that I’ve let friends go, but the fact is that I only have so much time in my life and a lot of time is spent with friends and family. I need to make sure that my social life is impacting the rest of my life positively. It’s important to me. I wasted many years letting other people affect my dreams, goals, and happiness, and I won’t do it anymore.
Having a good social life is important to me too. As this long study by Harvard found, relationships and our happiness all influence our health in a big way. When you have close relationships, you are delaying physical and mental decline, and you live longer, so good relationships are worth it.
Good relationships are relationships where you feel supported, valued, and respected. You may still bicker or disagree, but, in the end, you value their relationship with you for what it adds to your life, not what it detracts from your life.
Get Clear On What You Value In Relationships
In order to know what kind of people you want in your life, you need to get clear on what you value and don’t value in relationships.
What do you value most in your relationships?
- Positive attitude
- Good communication
These are all traits that can benefit you and your productivity on some level.
Alternatively, what bothers you about the people you are in a relationship with?
- Lack of goals
- Negative attitude
These are all traits that can affect your life and your productivity negatively.
Create A Better Social Network
Once you get clear on the type of people you want to be the most social with, start spending more time with those types of people and less time with people who bring you down and affect your life negatively.
It’s not about selfishness. It’s about living your best and most productive life.
For instance, if you have a friend who is always negative and complaining, you may feel obligated to hang around them often in order to try and help them become happier. It’s a noble gesture, but the fact is that you can’t spend your whole life trying to make other people feel good. If they are not responsive to you and your influence, then you need to focus on yourself and your happiness. Nobody else is going to do that for you!
3 Things You Can Do To Create A Better Social Network
It’s important to connect with other people who are supportive and make you feel good. It’s also important to connect with people who are going through the same thing as you and can help you learn and grow. And, it’s important to have people to look up to that you can learn from.
1. Spend More Time With People Who Have Traits You Value And Less Time With People Who Have Traits That You Don’t Value
You don’t need to completely get rid of people out of your life if you don’t want to – or can’t. Just start spending less time with them and then fill in that time with people who have the traits that you value in your relationships. You may be met with some resistance from certain people, but that’s something you need to deal with if you want a better social network.
2. Spend Your Time Online With The Type Of People You Would Spend Your Time Offline With
If you are reading this, you likely spend some time online. Most of us do. And the Internet can be a great place to get information, inspiration, and support. But, it depends on what you do with your time online.
Stop getting in Twitter wars and interacting with people who don’t think like you. You have the power to make your social interaction online as positive as possible.
- Follow people who you like.
- Join groups that support your goals and happiness.
- Create groups that support your goals and happiness.
- Friend people that you like.
- Unfriend people that you don’t like.
One of the best things I did online was cut my Facebook profile down to a few people. I got rid of all the people that were negative, fake, complaining, and wasting my time, and I kept a few real friends that I want to keep up with. It saved me a ton of anger and annoyance, and definitely increased my productivity in life.
3. Find Mentors
Lastly, start learning from people who are where you want to be. You don’t need to be best friends with them. You can follow them online or read their books. As long as you include them in your life somehow, you will be influenced positively.
Check Out This New Free Masterclass
When it comes to building win-win relationships, there’s no one better to learn it from than Keith Ferrazzi, New York Times bestselling author of the book Never Eat Alone.
Keith is not your regular coach.
From his humble beginnings as a poor kid in rural Pennsylvania, working at the age of 11 for a mere $20 a day, he became the youngest executive appointed in the Fortune 500. He became CMO of Deloitte, and then CMO of Starwood Hotels by the age of just 32.
And he is hosting a FREE Masterclass with Mindvalley where you'll discover the secrets of deeply connecting with anyone and building your dream network to achieve your biggest career & life goals.