Is love starting to take on an ugly tone for you? These 5 love quotes may help you see love in a different way and bring more love into your life.
1. You Don’t Need To Change To Be Loved
Never change who you are just because you’re afraid of losing them. If they really love you, your imperfections won’t matter. – Unknown
I can’t find the original person who said this love quote. It’s been used by so many different people – who don’t credit an author – that I can’t figure it out. So if you know who it was, please share in the comments and I’ll update it!
Despite not knowing who the original author is, this love quote is uber-important. We all know someone (or have been someone) who has given up our sense of self to try to make someone we love respect us, validate us, and love us. But, when we try to be someone we are not, we are not in a loving relationship. We are in an unhealthy relationship.
Love is about good things, such as support, understanding, and acceptance. If someone is trying to get you to change, they want you to be more like them. They want you to think like them, behave like them, believe like them, and act like them. They want you to give up your sense of ‘you’ and become them.
That sounds pretty selfish and arrogant! It doesn’t sound like love at all.
And, if you do change, and they love you, then they don’t love the real you. They love the fake you. That’s not real love!
When you find true love, the person will love you for who you are. They may not put up with unhealthy behavior from you, but they will allow you to think, behave, and believe in a way that suits you because you are a unique person that they fell in love with.
2. Is There One Definition Of Love?
What is love? It is an amazing question to ask in any setting because everybody thinks they know what love is, but very few people want to define it. – Scot McKnight
If you look up love in the dictionary, how do you know those are the real definitions of love? Scot McKnight talks about how in the American Dictionary, love is generally defined as one thing – an intense feeling of deep affection – but that’s the American dictionary’s definition of love.
If you ask anyone what love is, most people will say that it’s just a feeling that they have deep inside, but that doesn’t really define what love is.
I think many people have their own thoughts on love but don’t want to say them out loud because they know, deep down, that we all define what it means to be in love in a different way.
In fact, once you start to look around for love quotes and what love means to different people, you will see there are plenty of differences. For instance, go look at the question ‘What is love?’ on Quora, and you will find over 100 different opinions on the definition of what love is.
And, even highly religious people have different definitions of love.
The Dalai Lama describes it is positive thoughts and feelings that bring about hope, inner strength, courage, and determination. He says that in the Buddhist tradition, love and compassion are seen as two sides of one coin, and while compassion is wanting someone else to be free from suffering, love is wanting them to have happiness.
To Scot Mcknight, who looked to the Bible to define what love is, he said this: love is a rugged commitment – a commitment of presence (sticking with those you love through thick and thin), a commitment of being in someone’s corner (standing by the people you love), a commitment of a transformation (becoming more like each other as you move through love and absorb each other’s characteristics) and becoming more Christ-like (forgiving, accepting, etc.).
So, allow yourself to be open to different definitions of love. And, most importantly, allow yourself to open your heart to a new way of being in love, especially if you’ve taken on a very negative belief about love, such as ‘love hurts’ or ‘love is hard’.
3. Most People In Love Would Agree, It Doesn’t Make Life Harder
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. – Dr. Seuss
The thing most people can agree on in love quotes is that love is not supposed to make your life harder. In fact, when you are in love, your reality starts to take on more light, more meaning, more fun, more adventure, etc. It can become, as Dr. Seuss said in this love quote, better than your dreams!
If your dreams far outweigh your reality, then you may want to look at the ‘love’ in your life. Is it nourishing you, as love should do, or is it draining you, as hate and other negative emotions should do?
4. You Can’t Love And Judge At The Same Time
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. – Mother Teresa
You can love someone and judge them, but you can’t do it at the same time. If you are judging someone, you are criticizing them and you are not loving them. If you are loving someone, then you are not judging them, but, instead, you are supporting them and accepting them.
So, why waste time judging? I would much rather fill my time in with love than judgment. Being judgmental doesn’t make me feel good. It doesn’t make me feel better, more powerful, or more important. Judging just takes away from all those good things, like love, that I would rather fill my time up with. How about you?
5. Believe You Are Loved By Someone!
It’s not my lack of love for my son – I’d give him the world. It’s his lack of knowing how much he is loved. – Joel Osteen
Joel Osteen was using an example of his son coming to him and not feeling worthy of help from his dad. Joel Osteen makes it clear that his son may believe he is not loved in a way that is supportive and always accepting, but that doesn’t make it true. He is loved! He just doesn’t believe it with conviction.
It’s important to know that you are loved. When you know you are loved, you know that you have someone to turn to. You feel more confident about yourself. You hold your head higher. You feel more validated and valued. In short, knowing you are loved makes this world a better place!
But, if you choose to believe you are not loved, even though it’s very clear you are, then you will not experience all those great benefits of being loved.
I know so many people who question whether they are really loved or not. They think it may be true, but they don’t fully accept it. They may even go so far as accusing their loved ones (including any higher powers they believe in) of not loving them, which puts a damper on the relationship and causes stress and strain.
Is that you?
Instead of questioning whether or not you are loved, try knowing it. Know that you are loved by someone or something. Have confidence in that love. And then watch as your life starts to take on a happier direction.
6. Surround Yourself With People Who Believe Love Makes Life Easier
Fall for someone who won’t make you think that love is complicated and difficult. – Dr. Gia Sison
We talked about how love is not supposed to make life harder. But, if you surround yourself with people who don’t believe that, then you are going to have a harder time finding someone who actually believes that loves is meant to enrich your life.
Remember, you are the sum of the people closest to you, so you want to surround yourself with people who see love in an optimistic way. This will help you see those pessimistic people clearer and keep them out of your life.