Last Updated on May 28, 2020
A physical connection can be important in a relationship, but an emotional connection is extremely important. It’s the basis of your relationship and will keep you together during the tough times. It’s the bond that holds you together. If your emotional connection is lacking, don’t worry, there are habits you can build to strengthen it and keep it strong. Some of the following habits may seem simple, but they are important to maintain that level of attraction beyond just the physical aspect. They can help amp of the feelings of love and joy between the two of you and turn up the connection.
12 Habits That Will Help You Build A Stronger Emotional Connection
Habit 1: Say I Love You In Many Different Ways
An emotional connection is centered around love. It’s important for your partner to know how much you love them and for you to know how much they love you.
When we first start to tell our partner that we love them, it holds a lot of meaning for them. The words are powerful and full of emotion and it can make our heart soar. But, too many people get caught in the trap of only saying, ‘I love you’ as a way to express their love. Eventually, it turns into ‘love ya’ or something similar. And, along the way, it starts to lose the meaning it once held.
This is why it’s important to get into the habit of telling your partner you love them in many different ways. Each way will feel fresh and exciting and hold a lot of power and meaning.
10 Ways To Say I Love You
1. Make Your Partner Feel Like They’re Number One In Your Eyes
When your partner knows that they are your number one, they are going to feel loved by you. They will know that even when everyone else leaves their team, they will always have one person remaining, the person that views them as the best.
You can show your partner that they are your number one by telling them how great they are or celebrating their achievements. Every time they do something awesome, tell them. Make sure they know that you think they are great.
2. Help Them Out
What better way to say I love you than to take some stress off your partner? For example, if they are feeling stressed out or burnt out, and you can help them do the chores they normally do, then do it! Give them a break and let them know that you love them so much you want to take care of them and help them feel better.
3. Pay Attention To Their Health
When your partner knows that you want to spend a long time with them, they know that you love them. Paying attention to their health simply means relating to their health issues and supporting them with decisions they make to become healthier in the long run. You can also lead by example and encourage them to be healthier so that they can keep up with you now and for a long time to come. This does not mean you should make them feel bad about anything. It just means you should encourage them and support them to be as healthy as possible so that you can be together for as long as possible.
4. Admit When You Are Not Right
What better way to tell your partner that you love them to admit that they are right sometimes. It gives them credit when credit is due to them, and, because it can be a hard thing to do, it shows that you are willing to take a hit to your ego sometimes because you love them enough to let them know when they knew something you didn’t.
5. Show Others How Much You Love Your Partner
When you make your partner look good in front of other people, they know you love them. A great example is making your partner look good in regard to an upcoming venture they have. When you let other people know how much confidence you have in them, in front of them, you are letting your partner know that you love them in a big way.
6. Let Them Be Who They Are
What better way to say I love you than to let your partner be who they are without trying to change them or make them into someone you want them to be. When you fully accept them for their quirks and habits and ways of doing things, you are telling them that you love them for who they are, which is the highest form of love. Unconditional love.
7. Tell Them Why You Love Them
“This is why I love you…”
This goes beyond the simple acknowledgment that you love them and lets them know in detail why they are so worthy of your love.
8. Be On Your Partner’s Side
I knew a couple who were never on each other’s side. They would side with their friends, family, or even strangers before they would stand by each other. Obviously, they didn’t last. They showed each other clearly as day that they didn’t love each other that much.
You don’t have to always agree with your partner, but do be on their side when other people are involved. You can always work things out that you don’t agree with in private, but nothing says I love you more than standing by your partner when they need someone to stand beside them.
9. Really Listen To Your Partner
There is no better way to say I love you than to listen to your partner. Listen to their dreams, hopes, and concerns. Listen to them when they need to work something out and need a sounding board. Listen to them and let them share who they are with you.
But the trick is to really listen to them. Don’t just hear them talking in the background, hear them and the meaning behind their words. Be connected. Remove distractions. Listen in a way they deserve to be listened to by the person that they love.
10. Treat Them The Way You Want To Be Treated
What makes you feel loved? Do that for your partner.
Habit 2: Have A Bedtime Routine
This is a small little habit that will ensure you have a stronger emotional connection.
Instead of just saying good night, make sure you give each other a kiss and a hug before bed. Kissing allows you to have a little bit of physical intimacy which boosts your emotional connection. It is a sign of affection. And hugging is the same.
A small bedtime routine where you kiss and hug can help you feel that connection as you fall asleep at night.
Habit 3: Create Your Own Love Language
- You are the pickle to my bread.
- You outshine the stars!
- You complete me.
These are all little sayings that are corny to the outside world, and even to you sometimes, but they are fun to say and boost your emotional connection by allowing you to talk to each other in a way that you don’t talk to anyone else.
The great thing is that you have shared a ton of private moments together and know more about each other than most people do. So, you can use those insights and moments to create special ways of talking to each other that nobody else will understand or be able to do.
Some things to think about:
What things make them happy, smile, laugh?
What do they get excited about?
What do they enjoy doing?
Use your answers to help you talk to them in a way that makes them feel good and understood by you.
Habit 4: Spend Quality Time Together
Challenge yourself to spend quality time with your partner. This will pay dividends for the emotional connection in your relationship.
Your relationship is only as strong as you make it, so make it strong by doing things that create more of a bond together. Do new things. Spend time talking. Share yourself with your partner. Allow them to share themselves with you. And, make the most of your time together by making it count.
Habit 5: Take A Class Together
We are all on our own path, but by taking a class together you can grow together a bit and strengthen your emotional connection in a big way. This is especially true if you take a relationship class together, such as Tantra Touch, but there are plenty of classes you can take together so that you can grow either in awareness or skills at the same time.
As you go through a class, you share, you communicate, you help each other understand, and you learn more about your partner. all these things help you build up your emotional connection.
Habit 6: Take Care Of Yourself
In order to stay emotionally connected to your partner, you have to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, then how can you expect your partner to love you?
One important reason to love yourself first is that you teach other people how to treat you, even your partner. So if you are constantly talking down about yourself and taking crap from other people, then you are teaching your partner that you don’t feel like you deserve that connection and love from them and they can go ahead and disconnect and treat you in a way that you don’t want to be treated.
When you love yourself, you demand more out of your relationships and teach your loved ones that you are worthy of an emotional connection and respect.
Habit 7: Act Like You Are Dating Sometimes
When we are dating, we do awesome things for the other person. We buy them flowers, make them dinner, surprise them with things, and act like they are the most important person in the world to us. We literally wake up and think, ‘How can I make her/him feel good today?’ All of this helps us build our emotional connection with the person we are dating and ensures that things keep moving forward in a positive way.
But, eventually, once we are in a committed relationship, we stop doing all those things. We get into a routine and our relationship isn’t shiny and new and full of wonder and surprises.
If you want to keep building that emotional connection or just maintain it, go back into dating mode sometimes. Wake up excited to see your partner. Do something fun or interesting with them. Get excited about your plans. Surprise them. Do what you can to make sure that your relationship doesn’t get stale and boring and the emotional connection goes down the same path.
Habit 8: Date Night
Jon and Missy from Lifebook have a huge emotional and physical connection, and one of the habits they have to keep those connections strong is date night, at least once a week.
Date night should be free from distractions and all about you and your partner. It should be about connection, intimacy, and love. It should be focused on building your relationship and having fun together.
In other words, don’t make date night a night in front of the TV. Do something together that is fun or rewarding or nice and helps build that emotional connection that holds you together.
Do something that you can look back on and smile.
Do something that stands out from the rest of the week.
I always try to do something that I would want to take a picture of. This means that it’s a memory that I’ll have of my partner and I together.
Habit 9: Do Not Support Their Destructive Habits
Don’t love your partner to death. In other words, do not support their destructive habits.
Emotional connection is about being supportive, but it’s also about showing the other person how much you care about them.
If they are doing something destructive, such as engaging in a bad habit or beating themselves up about something, it’s important to let them know that you recognize their destructive habits and work with them towards living a healthier lifestyle.
The thing is that they know they are doing destructive things. It doesn’t feel good when you are doing things that are not good for you. So your support towards them eliminating these behaviors and habits from their lives shows that you love them and have their best interest at heart.
Habit 10: Ask The Right Questions
When we date someone, we ask a lot of questions to build our connection with them. You can do this in your committed relationship too.
You will never know everything about each other. We change as we get older and have new experiences and open up our awareness, so what you once knew about your partner may be different now. It’s important to ask the right questions so that you can stay up-to-date with your partner and even learn more about them as time goes on.
The right questions are simply non-accusatory questions that help you learn more about your partner.
For example, ‘Why do you never help out around the house?’ is not a good question to ask for building your emotional connection. In fact, it can do the opposite. But, ‘How do you most like to spend your time during the day?’ can help you get a sense of what your partner prioritizes in their life and how you can work with them so that they can focus on their priorities while helping out around the house.
Habit 11: Make Meals Special
We all eat, and you probably eat with your partner. Mealtime is a great time to build and maintain your emotional connection.
Good food is comfortable and promotes feelings of happiness and connection. That’s why we have a good meal on special occasions and go out for supper to celebrate other occasions.
Do not eat in front of the TV. Eat at the dinner table so that you can talk about your day and connect. It may be the only time that you regularly sit down together and connect with each other, so make sure it’s a must in your house if you want to maintain that level of emotional connection that you desire.
Habit 12: Get In The Habit Of Having Realistic Expectations Of Your Partner And Your Relationship
If you are in a bad, unhealthy relationship, then you need to change things. But, if your relationship is going well, then it’s important to not put unrealistic expectations on your relationship.
For instance, if your mom did all the cooking, raised 8 kids, and worked at a part-time job, you can’t expect your partner to be like that too just because you want them to. These unrealistic expectations can put a wedge in your emotional connection in a big way.
Examples Of Unhealthy Expectations You May Want To Remove
My partner needs to make me happy: No one, including your partner, is responsible for your happiness. You are the one who decides how you feel at any given moment. If you tend to label things as wrong or bad or negative, then you will not be happy no matter how hard your partner tries to make you happy.
My partner should always focus on me: If you expect things to always be about you, then you are putting an unrealistic expectation on your partner and your relationship. They cannot always focus on you. They have themselves and their happiness to focus on too. If you expect them to always make things about you, then you are going to feel bad when they don’t and that’s going to affect your emotional connection negatively.
Our relationship should look like THIS: Wanting your relationship to be like your friend’s relationship or someone else’s relationship is unrealistic. You are unique. Your partner is unique. You can’t expect your relationship to look like anyone else’s because you are two unique people. Let go of how things should be and work on making a relationship that feels good and solid to you.