I went to a quiet little coffee shop in a small town near me. While they had every kind of coffee and tea you can imagine, their store was really more of a store where you could buy home decor for a hefty price. But, still, they had WiFi and three tables, so I bought a latte and sat down for a few hours.
A few people came into the store – all to get coffee – and two ladies sat down at a table about a half an hour after I got there. At first, I thought they were good friends, but then I realized they barely knew each other except for the fact they were going to the same church. It’s interesting to listen to how quickly people who don’t know each other can relate. Here’s a peek into a conversation that happened outside of your life today and my thoughts about it.
1. Women Worry Too Much About How They Look
“I don’t normally dress like this.” – Woman One
This was the first thing Woman One said to Woman Two. Women start off about appearance – almost always. I can’t remember a time when I got together with a woman and she didn’t say anything about her hair, clothes, makeup, or whatever. It’s like women always worry about being judged, even by another woman in a coffee shop.
Woman One had a pink shirt on that started off with the words, ‘I don’t sweat…’ I couldn’t see the rest of the shirt, but it was obvious she had been to the gym before coffee and didn’t need to explain that she was dressed in her gym clothes. Yet, she felt the need to do so.
2. Women Know When Other Women Need To Talk
“You can tell me more about it if you want to.” – Women One after hearing that Woman Two was going through a divorce
Interestingly, Woman Two replied, “I try not to talk about it,” and then proceeded to talk for the next half an hour about the divorce and how it is affecting her and the kids. She started off business-like in her tone and ended talking with deep emotion. It was obvious she felt a connection with Woman Two who listened so well.
This is one of those great things about women. Most times they can tell when another woman just needs to talk, and they are willing to listen without injecting opinions or ways to fix the situation. That’s exactly what happened here. Woman One listened, nodded and sympathized, and Woman Two felt better about herself when it was all said and done!
Then, when Woman Two finished, Woman One talked about her kids and grandkids and went into detail about how her one kid is bipolar. Woman Two listened, and she asked a few appropriate questions here and there while Woman One vented about how hard it was to have a bipolar daughter, among other things.
3. Women Often Make Excuses For Their Loved Ones
I have a husband, although you haven’t seen him at church because he was in a motorcycle accident this summer, so he’s at home recovering from that. – Women One
We all know that if someone wants to go somewhere, they will go. Especially if they find it valuable and important, like these two women find their church.
But, beyond that, Woman One later talks about how her husband is doing things around the house, which is a far cry from sitting in a church pew for a few hours. It’s apparent that he’s not coming to church for another reason than being immobile, but she felt the need to give him a valid excuse to make him (or her) look better.
I think we ought to just admit when our loved ones don’t want to spend time doing things that we find important. Everyone has their own way of living in this world, and instead of trying to cover it up as a bad thing, we should be free to just tell the truth.
4. We All Need Friends
I’m still in this weird transition phase going from married to separated to divorced. That’s why I want to expand my ground of people and spend time with people. – Women Two talking about how connection at church helps her
The value of places like a church cannot be underestimated for some people. Especially people who are losing their friends because of a divorce and need to find a connection with people elsewhere like Woman Two is experiencing.
Woman Two talked about how many of her friends are couples and her ex is maintaining those relationships, so she feels awkward maintaining them too. The downside is that we all need friendships to get us through the tough times, and when you are having a tough time and not able to turn to friends, it is very, very hard.
I think it’s good for Woman Two to seek new connections through her church. She’s not sitting on her ass at home crying. She’s obviously not doing well, but she’s trying, getting out there, and socializing to the best of her ability. That’s what I call moving on and living life.
5. A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way
I come across to people as I meet as a little bit outgoing, but I’m actually quite shy, so I’m glad you asked me to go out for coffee. – Woman Two
In the end, Woman Two admitted that she needed this meeting to Woman One, and she showed her gratitude in a very honest way. This made me tear up a bit because it was so honest and real.
It was a way to say thank you for talking to me, listening to me, and sharing with me. And it shows how a little bit of thoughtfulness and kindness can go a long way in this world.
It made me want to get back to that old habit of doing one random act of kindness a day. Who knows how it could help someone out who may be going through a divorce, losing friends, struggling with ill family, or just in need of someone to give a shit.