I am no stranger to expecting more than I give. I have been there and done that. And, I have been in relationships where they expected more than they gave. Needless to say, all of those relationships have ended – including romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships. Now, I make sure to give as much love to my friends, family, and husband as possible, and thanks to this affirmation, I believe I deserve to get that same kind of love back.
What Happens When You Don’t Feel Like You Deserve To Be Loved?
When you don’t affirm to yourself that you deserve to be loved the way you love others, then you will take anything in your life – good or bad.
For example, my sister-in-law doesn’t get what she gives in her marriage. She takes care of her husband and in return gets a complete jerk who leaves her alone most nights and treats her like a maid. She is also good to his family, but she is treated like an outsider when their family gets together.
If she were to start using the affirmation: I deserve to be loved the way I love others – perhaps she would start to see that she is a doormat being used and abused and that she doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.
However, her current affirmation sounds something more like this: Life sucks and this is the best I can get. (She’s actually told my husband that straight out.)
And, When You Treat Others Poorly?
Ironically, my sister-in-law actually treats people who DO care about her in the way she gets treated by people who DON’T care about her.
For instance, she treats her mother and her brother poorly – and they are always very good to her.
Perhaps, in a way, she is being treated the way she treats others? Maybe she does believe in the whole get treated in the way you treat other’s concepts.
Not Everyone Is Going To Treat You Right
Here’s the thing – not everyone feels they owe you love in exchange for love. In fact, a lot of people feel they don’t owe the world, or anyone in it, anything.
Moreover, some people are not capable of giving you love, despite how much you give them. They may be fearful, depressed, or angry, and they may not have the energy to love you the way you feel you deserve to be loved.
In those cases, you have to decide whether to stay in the relationship or not. If you want to continue to offer them love while receiving a hateful or mean attitude from them, then you have that choice – but I would hope you never let yourself feel that you deserve that kind of treatment.
I’m going to say it once more because it is important to hear – especially for people who think they need to help others become happier. It is a choice you are making (maybe to help them through a tough time), but that doesn’t mean you deserve what they are giving you.
You deserve to be loved the way you love.
Always remember that you are a person worthy of being loved. Try to base your relationships around this positive affirmation, and work through issues that are holding you back from getting the love you deserve to feel protected, cared for, and valued.